The SECRET to happiness with your horse
begins with your own self-awareness
STEP 1: You need to become aware that you have become fixed on getting what you want
Becoming aware sounds pretty easy when it is written in a sentence, but in real life it isn't easy and it takes practice. For me there are two main things that help me to realise that I am getting fixed on something I want from my horse..
- I need to increase the pressure to get what I want
- I can feel tension growing between us and it doesn't feel soft & easy
STEP 2: Look at yourself from your horse's perspective
This is a great way to strengthen your ability to become more self-aware. If you were in your horse's position, how would you view you? What would you see? What would you feel? The more you can truly see from the perspective of those around you, the more self-aware you’ll become.
STEP 3: Accept what you discover
Self-awareness is about being able to truly see and understand yourself clearly. Rather than trying to change your thoughts and emotions in the moment, let yourself feel what you’re feeling. Don't get annoyed or disapointed in yourself. Instead, pat yourself on the back.
WHAT!! I can hear you say! Yes you need to pat yourself on the back because you have just become aware that you have stopped listening to your horse. This is a wonderful realisation and it will have a huge impact on your happiness with your horse. The more often you become aware that you are not listening, the happier the two of you will become.
Step 4: Listen to your horse
Look to your horse. What are they feeling right now? Maybe it's tension, perhaps uncertainty... whatever it is, think about what you need to do next to bring happier feelings to your horse. Perhaps all you need to do is slow down or maybe you need to change your plan.
Step 5: Practice, practice & more practice
Changing your behaviours takes practice, so don’t get frustrated if you find yourself getting fixated on something you want from your horse. Just pause, say sorry to your horse for not listening and then look at it from their perspective.
Soon enough, being self-aware will become second nature and your horse will LOVE you for it.
If you are enjoying all of the free training we are offering, I ask that you share our work with everyone you can so together we can create great change for horses and humans 🙂
I go to my horse in the morning. I say “Hello” and look for a response. Sometimes it’s ” Hi there I’m here.” Other times his muzzle and ears show me he is not interested. I ask if I can give him a pat. Now this seems OK for him. Never used to be. He will now come to me in the paddock. Often he will accept the halter. When he does not accept the halter, I either leave it at that, or ask again. He needs to put his nose into the halter, for me to feel that he is accepting. When I first brought him home, I spent probably an hour every day in the paddock, being one of the herd. He would come over, and nuzzle me and then walk away again. Sometimes he would get a little enthusiastic, and I would have to move away as a herd member would do.
When I need to go somewhere, be it an adventure walk, or to the vet, and he is not interested, how do I ask him to accept what I need to do? How do I use my body language to convince him. Adventure walk, I can leave for another day, but the trip to the vet , can not be left. As he is a carriage horse I really need him to accept what I am asking. I need to trust and so does he.
Echah – great questions! In our Ongoing Learning Program you have the opportunity to ask Paulette questions that she answered live. Here is the link if you would like to join: https://ribbleton.samcart.com/products/ongoing-learning-program/
Everything you state is what I have felt…I am only able to lease horses a couple months a year and only got into riding as an adult, so I feel that I have a lot to learn….but these concepts you bring forth are so natural and sensible…love of animals and horses brought me here, so we should treat them with the utmost of respect and regard!! Thank you for reinforcing and expanding on this..it is key!!
My pleasure. I’m really pleased my work resonates with you.